Day 20 of 365: I Can Ruin a Wet Dream

Day 20 of 365: I Can Ruin a Wet Dream

I remember my uncle Leo making fun of me one day by saying that I could ruin a wet dream. That was super funny but you know what they say about jokes though, right? Yeah, exactly.

The truth of the matter is this: I have been a clingy ass dude.

I took a hard look in the mirror and this is what I saw. I am that guy. I have been the clingy boyfriend.

I’m the guy who always wants to be around and up under his woman. I am the guy that is fucking texting his chick every minute of the hour just to stay in touch.

Fuck. Why am I this guy??

I am literally laughing as I’m typing this maybe to prevent from crying because it’s funny but incredibly sad at the same time.

I’m charming and smart, and talented, and handsome, and attentive, and polite, and all these other great things, but I’m also clingy and kinda lack self-confidence and in a dating relationship those can be two of the biggest turn-offs.

As a matter of fact, I remember smothering my ex-girlfriend (actually, all of them!). It was like I knew I was doing it, and she clearly needed some space, but I couldn’t let up. I had to be with her.

Yo, I’m literally laughing out loud because this is pure comedy.

I know to a woman, a man that is always following behind them seems to not have anything going for himself… or he wouldn’t have the time to be there at her beck and call. And a man that doesn’t have anything going for himself is viewed as a loser.

Plus, you don’t give a person a chance to miss you. Every time they turn around, there you are—with yo goofy ass. That shit is a huge turn-off.

Hopefully this break I’m on now will cure me of this. I’m not sure if it’s just that I am an introvert and really don’t rock with many people, so when I do find someone I actually like spending time with I’m trying to maximize our encounters. Or maybe I just have a problem. Who knows…

Dude. This is so not funny.

Perhaps, in a best-case scenario, the next time I’m ready to try my hand at dating, I’ll find someone who is just as introverted and reserved, and clingy as I am and we can run off and cling to each other and start a clingy-ass family in a town called Clingyville.

I don’t even know why I’m admitting to this publically. I probably need to be in a rehab group.