Day 2 of 365: I Didn't See This Coming

Day 2 of 365: I Didn’t See This Coming

So far this morning I’ve prayed, meditated, read my goals, did some chores, and hit the gym. I would say I’m off to a good start.

You can fail at what you don’t love, so you might as well take a chance at doing what you love.

–Jim Carrey

One of my biggest struggles for me these days is letting go of expectations. Apparently, I am a dreamer and an idealist so I constantly have these lofty visions floating around in my head.

I would say the hardest one I’m dealing with currently is a failed relationship. Technically my last relationship was over in June, but it just kind of dragged on (mostly because I kept hoping things would work out) until earlier this month.

Around this time last year, I had realized that I was giving up on relationships a little too soon. What I didn’t know then was the way I went about getting into relationships wasn’t the healthiest way. But with that new understanding of self, I tried to apply it in a situation that wasn’t applicable.

In my defense, there are a lot of success stories out there where people claimed they didn’t give up on a relationship and made it work. And as I’ve previously stated, I have been known to throw the baby out with the bath water. I wanted to do differently this time. I also wanted to be there for someone like no one has ever been there for me—I didn’t want to give up on my partner. But there does come a time when enough is enough and you have to count your losses. That realization has been a hard pill to swallow.

So here I am now. A little battered, a little bruised, but even wiser than I was a year ago. I know better now the importance of creating a bond with a person outside of a physical connection before attempting to create a partnership with them. I also know now that deciding not to get romantically involved with a person and just being cool with them, sans intimacy, is okay as well.

Here’s the thing, I want to be in a healthy relationship someday. Some guys aren’t the relationship type, that’s not me. I want to have a life partner, be married, and create memories with someone. I know now that that takes time to establish. I’ve stopped believing in the whole love at first sight fantasy (or at least I think I have). I know all of this probably sounds weird coming from a man, but whatever—it is what it is.

I don’t know… I didn’t anticipate this becoming a post-relationship post, but voila! I guess that’s what’s in my heart this morning and my fingers did the talking—so be it.

Side note: I do plan to have more dynamic posts in the future. I want to add some photos, videos, and other exciting content as well. For now, I’m just getting into the swing of this daily post regimen. Thank you for reading!